Feminist Wedding Reading List

Also, the wedding-related Facebook advertising influx has begun.

I’m compiling a feminist wedding reading list, and so far I’ve got two recommendations that keep coming to me over and over: The Meaning Of Wife by Anne Kingston and White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Pop Culture by Chrys Ingraham. I’m presently in the midst of reading Virgin: The Untouched History by Hanne Blank, which covers a lot of cultural issues regarding marriage, or rather, who is suited for it, why, and what that means. (Namely, virgins.)

Obviously the world of wedding-related literature and pop-literature is vast. What have y’all come across that you found instructive? I’m talking brick-and-mortar books, not blogs or websites. Something I can hold in my as-yet ringless hand.

Oh, and the ring. You guys are gonna crap your pants when you find out where my ring is coming from. Or maybe you won’t. We’ll see.

About andrea grimes

Andrea is a journalist living in Austin, TX. She has a master's degree in anthropology and did her thesis work on gender and stand-up comedy. Seriously. Also, she has a bunch of cats. Three of them. Is three a bunch? Discuss.
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4 Responses to Feminist Wedding Reading List

  1. DK says:

    So glad you’re doing this blog, Andrea. I’m also a newly engaged feminist and need all the help I can get!

  2. Michelle says:

    This is not a specific book or suggestion, but I found it helpful to read about marriage/joining ceremonies of other cultures and (non-Christian) religions. Pagan handfasting ceremonies really resonated with me, and when we put together the wording of our ceremony, I drew a lot of ideas from those rites.

    If you look at it from the perspective of trying to just remove or revise the things you don’t agree with from a traditional-white-hetero-Christian wedding, I think you may just end up frustrated. Weddings are so soaked in gender stereotypes, male ownership, virginity, etc etc etc, that it’s hard to break them out of that frame. I think you should just start with a blank slate — crafting the words and actions and rites that convey what you and Patrick want to express about the state and progression of your relationship, no matter whether what you end up with looks anything like a “wedding.”

  3. amy mccarthy says:

    Like, 4 hours of Say Yes To The Dress should do you. Totally feminist and reasonable.

  4. Dan Solomon says:

    Also give some thought to “One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding” by Rebecca Mead. It’s about weddings, not marriage, but it’s definitely compelling reading.

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